“Go back
to the beginning… how did this all start?”
When something that was meant to be wonderful starts to taste bitter,
that can be just the question to ask.
What was it that so exited me and led me to take this job, to begin this
course of study, to play on this team, … to marry this person? How can I bring that initial fervor to life
again, in the more mature way that’s needed to deal with our more seasoned
problems or our creeping ennui?
“How did
this all start?” That’s the question
Jesus answers even though it’s not the question the Pharisees are asking. They’re out to trick him by making him give
his controversial answer to a legal question.
We may think of divorce as a modern phenomenon, but it was reasonably
common at that time, amongst Jews as well as Gentiles. We’ve found the bills of divorce he’s talking
about. The rabbis debated what possible
grounds for divorce could be, and the criteria ranged from very broad, pretty
much divorce on demand, to very narrow, but none of them ever said divorce was
never to happen. Jesus cuts across all
these arguments, not by discarding Deuteronomy (in fact, he explains how it
reveals God’s compassion), but by going back to the beginning, to God’s
original creative act.
He takes
us back to the beginning when all there was, was love. Can you imagine life without time? I certainly can’t, it’s just such a part of
how we process the world that we can’t even think without it. But time was created, and so time is slightly
less foundational to the really real than love is. Love is more fundamental than time. And God
doesn’t try to keep that secret. Good news is actually much harder to keep secret,
I think, than malicious gossip. We had a saying at university, “a secret in the
Oxford sense,” which meant that you could only tell one person at a time. Good news seems to have a will of its own in
wanting to get out and it takes well-developed will power to stop it. God doesn’t try to keep the secret of His own
love; the telling of it was creation.
In a
particularly beautiful way, marriage is part of the original creation, part of
God’s telling of His love. The creation story
we heard from Genesis portrays Eve as the only living being to be created not
from earth but from Adam. I’ve heard it said that every good marriage is not
just a union, but a reunion, a witness to the basic original unity of
all humanity. Two people committing to live their lives as one gives testimony
that can be properly sacramental to the spousal intimacy we’re all called to
with God, and when children result from that marriage, that can attest to the
fruitfulness and over-flowing nature of love.
The love that God is in all its facets is made visible to the world in marriage:
God’s fiery eros that burns for us;
God’s familiar friendship that sits ever at our side; God’s self-giving
sacrifice that went to the cross for us.
The giver is the gift.
Jesus
brings us back there, because we’re not in the garden anymore. We do need to be brought back, and he wants
us back. We get wrapped up in ourselves,
in our loftiness or in our lowliness, and lose sight of that love God longs to
sing to us of. He doesn’t just bring us
back in our mind’s eye; he acts to bring us back, to restore us to that
harmonious loving intimacy with all of creation, with each other, with our
Creator. The victorious victim of the
cross, Jesus triumphs over sin and death and renews creation, bringing us back
to that original vision of love. And in
that restored creation, marriage can never be broken off because God’s love can
never be broken off.
For so
many people, though, marriage doesn’t feel like much of a garden right now; it
feels more to take like a cross. Problems
or struggles in marriage, or a divorce; or those who’d love to be married, but
despair of it ever happening. God’s love
can never be broken off. God has
compassion for those who suffer through or from this ideal of marriage, and so
should we. God’s love is writ large in
marriage, but that isn’t working for everyone yet. Some people have been put on a cross by
marriage. And God’s love is writ even
larger there. God’s there, holding us
and loving us; He will bring us home.
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