Friday of the 6th week of Easter; St. Joseph parish.
She
was scared to be left alone with him. My
friend Abi recently had her first child, a beautiful baby boy named Jack, and
she shared with me during the pregnancy what her greatest anxiety was – it wasn’t
how her and her husband would cope with the huge changes to come in their
lives, it wasn’t sleepless nights, it wasn’t labor; it was that first time
after the birth that she would be left alone the baby. How would she know what to do? Of course, that time eventually came. After the birth, once she had come home from
the hospital, and friends and family had left, after a while her husband had to
leave too go to the store. She took a deep
breath to try and calm her nerves, and then looked down at the impossibly
precious bundle in her arms. Jack looked
back at her. He couldn’t smile yet, but
he could look with love. At that moment,
Abi felt no anxiety, only joy.
In
that moment, she understood the surprising good news that Jesus had for his
disciples in the upper room and has for us today. While we may want to see Jesus (and I hope we
do), what gives joy to our hearts is that Jesus will see us. He says, “I will see you and your hearts will
rejoice.”
Do we
long for that searching loving gaze? Do
we prepare for it now, by showing him our all in our prayer? Do we show the good, so as he can see gifts
given to be handed on? Do we trust that
he can take it when we show our pain and lament, so as he can see our wounds
that match his? Do we trust in his love to show our failings, our temptations
and our wrong-doings, so as he can see what to forgive to send us out into the
world as agents of forgiveness?
Having
Christ born in us is scary. That kind of
honesty involves serious labor pains. It
leads to that look of love. It leads to
joy.
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