Do you
wonder why, at the start of this reading, Peter isn’t listening to Jesus? There’s
a whole crowd pressing in to listen to him speak, speak the word of God, but
Peter is sitting a ways off, having gotten out of his fishing boat and he’s sitting
there tending to his nets. It probably isn’t that Peter doesn’t know who Jesus
is. The way Luke tells it, Jesus had healed Peter’s mother-in-law the day
before, and when Jesus talks to him, Peter does seem to know him. It seems that
Peter genuinely believes himself to be too busy to put down his nets and listen
to Jesus.
And
maybe he is. He’s been working all night, it’s morning now, and the nets need
tending to before going home to rest. He’s tired, he’s had a lousy night at
work, catching nothing, he might be starting to worry about his livelihood, he
needs to do whatever it is you do with nets before he can clock off and get
some rest before starting fishing again that evening. He has to choose between
listening to Jesus and getting his work done. But, Jesus doesn’t leave him with
that dilemma. Jesus comes to him. He doesn’t abandon the crowd, he finishes whatever
he was telling them, but then he goes to Simon Peter. And he knows that Peter
is busy with fishing. So, he says to him, let’s go fishing.
So, they
do, and there’s an amazing catch of fish. A spontaneous, gracious gift from God.
And we can’t really know why God decided to give that gift then. It’s not that
having Jesus in the boat is some kind of magical fish magnet. I’m sure we all
know that having Jesus in our lives doesn’t mean that everyone suddenly gets
easier and our nets are full of fish. So often, Jesus stands alongside us,
sharing in our hunger. But, this time, the nets got filled. Sometimes God just gives
gifts like that because God is gracious, and the fullness, the abundance of the
heavenly banquet does sometimes spill over into little foretastes in the here
and now of that abundance. I don’t think, but we can’t know, it was a
calculated inducement for Peter to start following Jesus: part golden
handshake, part bribe. I don’t think that that’s how God works. But I do wonder
if maybe it was a kind of test. Not a trap. But that God genuinely wanted to
try Peter out and see how he reacted to this.
His
reaction is certainly strong. He’s seized with astonishment. And he cries out, “Depart
from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Depart from me. They’re in a small
fishing boat on a lake at this point. What does he expect Jesus to do? Walk on
water? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe Peter gets it. Or, maybe half gets it. And that’s
about par for the course for Peter prior to Pentecost. But, Jesus grades on a
curve and half-getting it, it turns out, is pretty dang good. Peter gets who
Jesus is. Could he now recite the Creed and spell “consubstantial”? No, it’s
not that kind of getting it. It’s the kind of getting it that in the heat of
the moment, in an excited utterance, reveals that he knows Jesus can walk on
water. He gets Jesus’ holiness. He gets something of Jesus’ divinity. But he
only half gets it, because he doesn’t find that comforting, but terrifying.
He finds
it terrifying because all the more clearly he sees in contrast his own lack of
holiness. He sees his sin. It’s like if you’ve just touched something really
hot, lukewarm water will feel cold. He feels chillingly sinful and he knows
that holiness cannot abide sin, and he’s scared he’ll be burned up if he stays
close to Jesus. And he’s even half right here, so maybe he gets 75% overall,
because yes, he is cold in comparison with Jesus’ warmth, that fiery furnace of
charity, and yes, holiness cannot abide sin. But, what Peter doesn’t yet get is
that holiness lovers sinners. And holiness that’s combined with the power of
God casts out sin, cleanses, calls, wills us to be with Him. So, Jesus refuses
to leave. He’ll only walk on water to walk towards Peter, never to walk away.
Jesus calls. And then Peter starts to get it more. He gets that Jesus has a
mission for him, a mission that means leaving his nets behind, those nets that
just a little bit earlier had kept him from hearing the word of God. Soon, he’ll
consent to preach it.
Friends,
I don’t know which of us are called to leave our nets behind and which aren’t. I
know a lot of us are busy, with school, work, family. But as to Peter, Jesus
comes to us when we’re busy with our nets and says, “let’s go fishing.” Post-Ascension,
Jesus is ready to be with each of us in our work, in our school, in our
families. And acknowledging his presence, asking for his help, giving thanks;
none of that means we’ll automatically get a huge catch of fish. But it might
help us be aware of his holiness. It might help us be aware of our own sin. And
it might change how we look at our work.
Many of
you know that I was a teacher before I entered seminary. It was really letting
Jesus into my classroom, praying about my experience teaching that led me see
what was fundamentally right about how I was in relationship with my students,
and what was missing, what more he was calling me to. And there was a point
where I can had to swallow some pride and stop using me unworthiness, my sin as
an excuse to not let myself be called. That led me, step by step, to embrace a
call to vowed religious life in the Congregation of Holy Cross, to priestly
ordination and to now embarking on my ‘vocation within the vocation’ as a
priest-scholar-teacher. I haven’t quite walked away from my nets, I’ve just
learnt I need a different kind of boat.
I don’t know what Jesus is calling each of you to do with your nets, but
I know he’s calling.
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