As an undergrad, I was
involved in student politics, and I once received some advice from someone who
was much more successful than me in that area, and a generous mentor in a lot
of ways, and she told, “Never run for anything, unless you truly believe that
the job is important, and that you’re the best person to do it.” As grateful as
I am for her generosity, I’ve come to conclude that this is terrible advice.
The first part is OK as far as it goes, we should do things we think are
important, though we also need to do things sometimes just because they’re fun,
or relaxing, or sometimes we just need to trust that something might be important
because others assure us it is, even if we can’t see that yet. But I want to
concentrate more on the second half – the idea that you shouldn’t put yourself
forward to do something unless you’re already convinced you’d be the best at
it.
I think
that better advice would be: listen to that first reading we just heard from
Isaiah. In particular, hear the words, spoken from God to each one of us: “I
have grasped you by the hand.” And don’t just hear, but feel. Imagine (and when
I say imagine, I really mean us to open our awareness up to what God is already
doing), imagine God’s hand tight around your dominant hand. How does it feel?
It’s grasping, Isaiah told us that. It’s strong. There’s enough squeeze that
you know God’s not going to let you go. There’s a roughness probably, because
God is a God who works. But there’s also a tenderness, an intimacy, a warmth.
And God isn’t grasping each of our hands just to hold them, though He delights
in that, He leads us, He uses our hand, “sets us as a light to the Nations,” as
Isaiah puts it, directs our hand and puts it to work.
Where is
that hand leading ours? Because it might not be to do something that we’re the
best at. In fact, it probably won’t be. Because God is God after all, and
really has no need of our hands, but freely chooses to use them anyway. Why?
God’s grace, God’s love, God’s election, God’s choosing, is ultimately
inscrutable, we can’t give a logical reason why, but we can say those things are
all connected, God never elects, God never chooses, without giving graciously
and without loving. God calls us to a particular vocation not because we’re the
best at it, but because it’s best for us.
Fast
forward a few years from the undergrad student government days. I was on a
retreat. I’d started the process of discerning priesthood and religious life. I’d
met with some vocation directors, but I was reluctant to take the next step, to
actually ask for an application form, to make myself vulnerable enough to be
judged as to whether they should accept me. And I could think of all kinds of
reasons why they shouldn’t. And in my mind was that advice, don’t put yourself
up for something unless you think it’s important (check), and unless you think you’re
the best person for the job (no check). And then, on the first night of a
retreat I’d decided to make, there was an evening of reflection and the priest
read Matthew’s account of the baptism of Christ, what we just heard as our
first reading. And I heard John the Baptist’s very self-aware, adequately
humble, completely logical refusal to baptize Christ – “me, no, I’m not worthy,
I’m not the best person for that job!” And I heard Christ’s response, “Give in
for now. We must do this to fulfill all righteousness.”
We must do
this. We. You don’t have to do this alone. I’ve got you. I’ve grasped your
hand.
Shortly
after that retreat, I contacted the vocations director for Holy Cross I was in
contact with, and asked to formally apply.
God has
grasped our hands. God has chosen each of us, to do different things, things
that will bring righteousness and justice to fullness and victory. And these
aren’t just the things we think we’re best at. They’re certainly not things we
could do on our own, as if God formed us and then just let us go. No, they’re things
we could only do with our hands held.
Once John
finally consented, we see how Jesus’ hand was held. We see him get that
assurance from his Father that he is loved. We see the Spirit dovelike come to
rest upon him. Friends, it’s when we give in for now, when we get over our own
fears of not being the best, and move where God’s hand is leading us, that we
see the closeness that characterizes the Trinity, and we see how we are invited
and welcomed into that. Next week, our gospel will tell us how Christ baptizes
us. This week, let’s feel that divine hand squeezing ours, forming and guiding,
and using ours, bringing righteousness and justice to fullness.
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